The other day I took my two older children, Silas and Maelin, up to Bills Lake in Newaygo to celebrate my nephew’s 1st birthday. On the way, I felt a pinch of anxiety. My extended family are exclusively Republican, and my brother’s in-laws, who own the cabin on Bills Lake, are also rather right-leaning.
Passing a number of what I’ll call “political embellishments” throughout the countryside didn’t help curb the gut feeling.
Upon arrival, I realized I was likely the sole left-leaning guest.
Thankfully, having grown up in a red county, I know how to code switch. We talked about hunting, fishing, food, all the fitting topics of the idyllic setting. It was a lovely time.
At one point, I was talking to one of Phil’s brothers-in-law, and he talked about how he had moved from the city of Grand Rapids out to a quiet three-acre country lot. He missed some things about city life, but seemed to enjoy the bucolic setting where his family now resides. I too grew up on 3 acres.
During the conversation he voiced his experience of returning to the city for events: “when I go into the city, I start to feel anxious because of so and so [can’t remember everything he listed]”
I was immediately grateful to hear this honest sentiment, and responded quickly: “well, as the token Democrat here, I have the same thing in reverse when I come to the countryside!”
We both laughed.
Bills Lake with Silas and Maelin ^
Life in America right now is truly polarizing. ICE raids, detention facilities [concentration camps?], tariffs, international conflicts, domestic policy, it’s putting all of us in a state of alert. And it’s exhausting to the point where we can literally feel anxiety going to the places where we’re the minority.
Here’s the good news: we are not enemies.
Ideologically, we may be coming from different vantage points, but that’s nothing new. Every era of American history – and world history for that matter – contains disagreement. Here in the US, we enjoy the freedom of living according to what we believe, and others to live according to what they believe.
Sometimes I long for more freedom, because it can feel as if my freedom is being impinged upon by others. For example, drivers making their way through my neighborhood happen to have 18 feet of lane, wider than two semi-tractors wide, in each lane. Yes, 36 feet of road. So they speed. How fast? I’ve seen 70+mph, though thankfully not often.
Driving is one of the spheres in which freedom is tricky. We all seem to think we’re great drivers, and it’s the other guy who is going to make the mistake. Is this fully true though? Probably not quite. I include myself in the hypocrisy, even if I don’t drive much anymore [I hit nearly 100mph on the freeway on the way to Bills Lake, for example].
I don’t have any masterful solutions to the large issues endemic to the United States, but I do have some moral and spiritual insights that I find helpful when navigating the polarization of the current era, mostly from my religious tradition. Here’s a working list:
1. We are all in this together, and we are ultimately accountable to God.
Whether we’re talking about a smaller Christian community such as Paul wrote to in the first century or whether we’re talking about a whole country, we all need one another.
Paul wanted the young churches he planted to flourish and to help their communities flourish, so he wrote this: Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. …So then, each of us will be accountable to God.
Apart from Christian tradition, most folks would say something along the lines of “whatever floats your boat” or “you do you.” Why get anxious about what someone else thinks or believes if it doesn’t affect you?
2. Every person matters. Really, every person.
Jewish and Christian traditions emphasize that every human is created in God’s image and likeness. Islam contains a similar teaching, even if it’s less of a personal likeness. To say we’re all reflecting God in some way, even despite our brokenness, is no small statement. Whether someone is wearing a MAGA hat or a pride pin, they are made in God’s image and likeness – kind of a big deal.
3. Disagreement can produce incredible results.
Some of the best ideas come when people disagree on the best path forward. Just today I had a conversation with a coworker about building use policy. She was looking from one angle and I from the exact opposite. Together we [somehow] came together with some promising ideas about how to protect and steward the building on the one hand and share generously to our community on the other.
This isn’t to say disagreement always produces net positive results. There are spheres in which some of us may remain at an impasse, and that is the reality of human life. There are times in human relationships, it seems, when it’s wise to “turn up the volume” on commonalities, to use the analogy of a radio.
If you have other wisdom to pass on, please do so in the comments section.
Peace be with you, dear friends.
ben videtich 