Top 10 Things I Learned in Seminary [#4]

Here is the next installment of my little reflection series on my six years of theological study in the seminary context. I have also, of course, been influenced in my writing by ministry experience within two different faith communities.

My focus here is on the two most important Sacraments for Christians: baptism and communion.

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Let’s face it. We live in a transient world.

My iPhone was slated to be out of date about a year from the date of its release. Apple’s calendar for new products moves almost as fast as seasonal fashion updates. Interior design may be a bit slower, but pretty much everything in our culture is rapidly shifting.

Undeniably, this has psychological consequences.

When we move so quickly, we miss out on things. Personally, I think tattoo culture grows out of this. Not going to lie; I love tattoos. Done right, they’re just so cool.

But why is it that we desire tattoos?

I’d like to make the case that part of our [and my] interest in the permanency of tattoos is on account of the impermanence of other fixed realities in the world. We’re always going to be transitioning to a different area, moving into a new friend group, trying a new app, purchasing a new piece of technology.

Baptism is altogether different than all of this.

Communion is also entirely unique.

I’ll take a stab at explaining. Water is ubiquitous, at least in the Midwest. We in the West usually don’t turn on our faucets each day wondering whether there is enough water to push through and give us clean hands or a cold drink.

We are not disquieted by an evening sip of red wine. Neither are we overwhelmed by a quick sandwich at lunchtime.

But in the context of Christian worship, our senses are opened to new realities when we witness baptism and communion. Let me talk about why this is the case.

Water cleanses, purifies, refreshes, and sustains. Jesus, according to Scripture, is living water.

Physical water points us to the living reality that we call God.

The waters wrapping the earth are powerful indeed. Scientists tell us the oceans slowly circulate, and every 500 years, like a giant game of tag, they all trade places. Deepest waters from the North Atlantic collect in an enormous basin as cold, salty water from Greenland and Norway sinks. This pushes the warmer waters south, between the Americas to the West and Europe and Africa to the East, until it hits the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, which pushes the water east, where it circulates. The Pacific contributes greatly to the drama, adding sun-warmed water that winds up back in the North Atlantic.

How many glasses of water have I drunk over the years whose molecules once also nourished Jesus during his time on earth? Maybe those lively atoms helped to wash him in the more ancient Jordan River as he emerged from his own baptism or quenched the thirst of the disciples as they shared a Thursday evening meal with Jesus before his death.

When I think about my own experience of baptism, it was the muddy waters of the Muskegon River coursing Westward out of Houghton Lake and on to Lake Michigan that cleansed me. The people who had spiritually nurtured me during my earlier years sang hymns in the same sun that warmed Saint Augustine as he wrote and guided a community in North Africa. There is a deep spiritual connectedness to which the Sacraments, communion and baptism, point.

Paul says in baptism we are buried with Christ, then raised with him. We often think of this in a profound spiritual sense, and we are right to think this way. But in the Sacraments we also experience physically the connection we have with him. If baptism and communion were two arms, I would picture them holding with one hand on the physical world, and with the other holding the hand of Jesus incarnate. Somehow the wind of the Holy Spirit would blow, and the presence of the Father would be tangibly felt.

When we see these actions in the church, may our imaginations soar.

My imagination soared when my wife and I took our son, Silas, to be baptized. At three months, we as a church placed him gently at the feet of God, knowing we cannot open his eyes to see God on our own, but that we can do our best show him the path.

Over his wide open blueberry eyes, our pastor’s tender hand imprinted a tiny cross that dripped gently across his smooth forehead.

Silas Everett

And I wondered who had been baptized in that same water. John Wesley? Bonaventure? Saint James? Dietrich Bonhoeffer?

For sure, our precious Silas Everett Videtich. May he forever live into that sacramental reality.

The Top 10 Things I Learned in Seminary [#8]

Having graduated from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary early this month, this is the next of my seminary reflections. This marks the third post. They are out of order, except for the last few.

#8

Preaching is as scary as I always thought [but it can also be powerful!].

One of the more intimidating aspects of the pastoral vocation is this: speaking in front of a lot of people. Those people may be judging you, or they may offer great charity. Those people may come interested, or they may come with impatience and plenty of other things to think about at that time. Those people long for a sense of the eternal, of deep purpose for life, of grace and truth; but they may not have gotten enough sleep the night before.

And there they are at church.

Scary, right?

Now, let’s add to that.

I’m not someone who was naturally drawn to speaking in front of people. My college speech class illustrates this perfectly. The goal to was to eradicate ums and uhhs from our speeches, and also to memorize our main points. I couldn’t remember the next point, and I knew I couldn’t say uh or um, so I just stopped. It was probably about 8 or 10 seconds. Yeah.

If you listen to me preach nowadays, don’t be deceived. You may initially think I’m calm and poised, but don’t let that fool you! I am not! Well, at least beforehand. As I move into a message, somehow God’s Spirit seems to slowly calm my nerves, and I allow him to animate me. Somehow, my hands even seem to work with my words as I tread holy ground. Somehow, the people out there who always used to intimidate me have turned into people who simply long for an experience of God.

Just like God used Moses, a guy who stammered and lacked confidence and poise, God can use a guy like me. God can use a guy who wasn’t always a natural with words and with communication. God can use a guy who hated public speaking for the first two decades of his life. For me, this has been evidence of my calling that I have been given grace to do the communication that pastoring requires. That’s not to say I’m killin’ it. But I’m taking steps. The meme below says it all.

onedoesnotsimply.meme

God calls various people in various places to proclaim the hope contained in Scripture and made most evident in the Son, Jesus Christ. This is a serious, scary task. That can [and does] make us young pastors terrified!

But the incredible thing about preaching is this: it sticks. I still remember concepts and illustrations from the sermons my pastor preached growing up. I remember the story about bitterness that featured Eskimo hunters who dipped an icy blade into blood, then planted it in the snow. When a wolf would smell the blood and lick the blade, they became so intoxicated that they failed to realize their numb tongue was being cut open. That’s harsh, but it’s what we do to ourselves when we fail to forgive and harbor bitterness against others. Preaching sticks.

That stuff matters. It’s terrifying, and it matters. A lot.

The Top 10 Things I Learned in Seminary [#10]

Having graduated from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary early this month, here are a few of the things I’ve gained. This is my second post. They are out of order, except for the last few.

#10

It’s extremely helpful to know Hebrew when it comes to reading peoples’ tattoos.

The other day I glanced down at my new friend’s tattoo. Her name is Camille. Her tattoo looked almost exactly like the one below, except it didn’t have the little vowel dots, known as “vowel pointing.”

selah.hebrew

It spelled out a three-letter word. S – L – H would be the Anglo equivalents. I thought about what it might mean for, well, I don’t know, probably 3 minutes. Finally those long classes spent poring over Hebrew text came back to me. “Selah,” I said to her. “That’s cool.” She looked at me as if I was some kind of mystic, like I had just read her future. Nope. It was just those handy #seminaryskills.

We talked about Hebrew for a few minutes and about the concept of Selah. It is used in the Psalms as a directive, as a musical term meaning “pause.” That’s a concept we could use in our world, whether or not we’re reading the Psalms.

And hopefully we are reading the Psalms, meditating deeply on them, praying them, taking them to heart, and writing them on our soul.

Try reading through Psalm 8 a few times, slowly. Seriously. Just try it.

The Top 10 Things I Learned in Seminary

Having graduated from Grand Rapids Theological Seminary in May, here are a few of the things I’ve gained. I’ll be posting about one per day, out of order, over the next ten days. Some will be awesome. This one, #7 starts us off lightly.

#7

The best stories rule the world; and the best story is the strangely compelling narrative of Jesus.

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Try as I might to find meaningful stories to communicate the reality of God, the story God has given us is simply the most compelling story the world will ever hear. My favorite movie is Clint Eastwood’s 2008 masterpiece, Gran Torino. SPOILER ALERT: I’m about to give away the plot. If you haven’t seen the movie, go see it, and skip this post.

Anyway, I’ll make it simple. Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a crotchety retired Polish-American line-worker from Highland Park which is couched within the city limits of Detroit. He’s angry that all his white neighbors have moved away to the suburbs surrounding Detroit, angry that his kids are distant, angry that his priest [he’s Catholic] is young and inexperienced, angry that his wife passed away, angry that poor Hmong refugees now surround his neighborhood, angry that crime rates are up and that Detroit is struggling.

But something happens within Kowalski. I’d say it’s nothing but the power of God. Some may say it’s an old, angry gentleman who experiences an inner revolution. But I’d say it’s the life-transforming power of God.

He takes in a young neighbor, Thao, who had attempted to steal Kowalski’s prized car, an early ’70s Ford Gran Torino. At first it’s restitution, and Thao does odd jobs to make up for his attempted crime. But soon, Kowalski becomes a real mentor to Thao. Thao needs a father, and Kowalski coaches him on how to gather tools, hob-nob with the good-ol’-boys, fix things, and even gets him a construction job.

Gran Torino

Kowalski makes the mistake of roughing up some gang members who had been trying to recruit Thao into their drug-running enterprise. Soon, the gang retaliates and shoots up the Thao’ house and rapes his sister.

Outraged, Kowalski takes things into his own hands. His priest comes over to confront him, but even though he makes a serious confession, he hides his plan from the young minister.

By this point, I’m expecting a shootout between Kowalski and the gangsters. No good outcome is really possible here, right? In the light from streetlamps, he storms in and yells at the gangsters from the sidewalk. Then, provocatively, he reaches his hand into his vest pocket. They light him up, cutting him down with automatics. As he bleeds out, the watcher learns Kowalski was unarmed the whole time; he was reaching for a lighter for his cigarette.

Instead of continuing violence, he absorbs it, laying down his life for his new and foreign neighbor, the neighbor who tried to steal his car.

Kowalski’s actions were powerful. But they were only powerful because they mirror the greatest action of all: Christ’s work on the cross. Jesus suffered and died, absorbing violence instead of continuing it. But where Kowalski did plenty of things to deserve anger–maybe not murder, but certainly anger and distrust–Jesus was a perfect sacrifice.

Kowalski discovered the deepest meaning of love: it’s laying your life down for your friend. And his story is compelling because it mirrors the greatest story-the story of Jesus.

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Top Five Things God did in My Life: 2014 Edition.

5. Growing our Faith Community

RiverTree is in the midst of an exciting season of change and development. We have established a strong sense of mission, and the committed ones among us are discovering how to live well as a diverse community of Christ-seekers.

It was my church family that graciously allowed more than 5 weeks of paid time off when Kaile and I were engaged and busy with the details of our wedding celebration.

It was my church family that paid for home repairs when a family’s home was damaged in a windstorm. They didn’t even attend; it was just something our church family decided to do.

It was my church family that has provided strong relationships that are all moving in the same direction.

2014 was a big year for this messy group we call church.

4. Finances

About four months into our marriage, my wife was suddenly between jobs. It was midwinter 2014. As one of the coldest winters on records here in Michigan, the temperature continued to drop as we plunged through a January and February. Heating became more and more expensive, and my church work was not keeping our bank account from sinking lower and lower. Throughout, however, God miraculously gave us a resonant sense of peace. We prayed for opportunity. Soon, it unexpectedly came in the form of a couple very meaningful yet financially rewarding opportunities for Kaile.

She thinks God put money in our account. I have come to agree with her.

3. New relationships.

Over the past year, Kaile and I have made several new friends. One couple, neighbors of ours, have journeyed with us through our pregnancy. She had their first child, Amos, just over a month ago.

Another couple we have known for years, but have taken new strides of honesty and trust in 2014. Since having moved back from Minnesota, they have launched back into life in Grand Rapids, and into deeper friendship with us.

One dear friend from seminary has grown closer by the year. He has a form of depression that shows up when you know how to recognize it. We sit and talk every month or two and listen to each other. I need friends like him.

My wife and I have both grown closer to my family and hers–my new family [some call this “in-laws”]. We chalk it up as pure divine blessing to be close to one another’s original and still-intact family.

Relationships are eternal, but they start now.

2. Helped me understand my wife’s calling [Dale Savidge conference].

In July of 2014, Kaile and I traveled to Greenville, South Carolina for a conference on “applied theatre.” For those of you reading this who do not know what that means, you would be in company with me. I did not honestly know what applied theatre was until the host of the conference, Dale Savidge, graciously invited me to attend, free of charge, several of the workshop sessions.

One activity we did was a psycho and socio-dramatic exercise in which Dale asked us to pause and consider whether our Christian journey, at this very moment, was most similar to three biblical characters: 1. Paul [it’s about logic/the head] 2. Mary [it’s about the affections/the heart] 3. Martha [it’s about action/the hands].

Head,

heart,

hands.

At the time, I could not help but resonate the most with Paul and his very theologically-driven picture of Christ’s work. Soon, Dale asked us to line up and go to various places in the room that correlated with our choice. This is where the psycho turned socio.

In no time, he was asking us questions of how and why we arrived to the decisions we had made. We were interacting with the nuances of our formation. He instructed us that if we were moved by the explanations of others, that we could take a step their direction in the room.

It was magical.

Principles from the world of theatre arts carried directly over into group dynamics, psychology, sociology, and spiritual formation.

I watched in wonder.

As I participated, my mind flashed back and forth between the experience we had and the journey my wife has been on for years now. We still have conversations about the conference. God was especially present during that time, planting seeds of confidence and trust that her vocational momentum is moving to the divine rhythm, seeds that have since grown in our marriage.

Kaile and I agree on lots of things relating to the field of theatre–goals, purposes, meanings–and we have differences. I enjoy some shows, others not as much. Throughout the experience in Greenville, though, I learned to respect her perspectives in a new and life changing way. She has a lot of insight and a lot of experience in her field; I do not. Humility is the path to deference, which is the best starting place.

I don’t know that much about theatre. But she does.

1. Baby!

I was in the middle of installing a ceiling fan when Kaile came out of the bathroom, pregnancy test in-hand. For those of you who have not used one, it is simple. If the little blue line appears forming an “x,” you are pregnant. If it is light blue, you are potentially pregnant.

Our little blue line looked like someone took a blue Sharpie marker to a white paper. The line was as dark and solid as a toddler’s homework.

We were pregnant.

Immediately, Kaile felt compelled to take another test. If anything, the second test was more blue than the first.

I kept working on my ceiling fan project, racking my brain and imagining how our lives would soon change.

And change they have. During Advent, we felt a little bit like Joseph and Mary, preparing their souls and their lives for the coming of a child. During the throes of our insurance changes, we felt for a time that there was no room in the inn.

Eventually, however, we have discovered a network of support throughout our nearly nine months of sojourning into the land of parenthood. God has been faithful, and we have been changed. In a much smaller and less cosmic sort of manner, what was true for the parents of Jesus has been true for us:

A baby changes everything.

Parents and Children: Part 2.

In my last blog post, I revealed how I spent significant time in rebellion from my parents-about 2 years, actually. Between 2003 and late 2005, I failed to recognize how much my parents loved me and sought the absolute best for me. Eventually, God graciously helped me to eventually see plainly the concern they both have for me.

If you took time to read my previous post, you are now thinking one of two things: 1. “You dummy. Everyone should be thankful for their parents.” or, 2. “You dummy. Do you not realize that other people have strained parent relationships, bad parents, or no parents at all?”

Those are valid points! Many of us have some kind of difficulties with parents at some point in our lives, especially during certain growing-up years. Ages 12-19 may be the toughest. But it is not the case that the problem generally lies with the child. Some of us really do have terrible parents who do not care at all for us, or who are entirely absent from us. If this is your situation, I lament with you. 

I have numerous friends and connections who have strained parental relationships; indeed, some have no parents. One friend comes to mind whose father committed adultery with a family friend. Imagine the difficulties this Christian family has endured. Another friend has a mother with severe depression, and a father who refuses to get her treatment because of his beliefs. Imagine watching all of this while slowly becoming an adult; how utterly painful. Another friend, considerably younger than me, lives with his overworked mother. She has numerous children with various men. This friend has never had a consistent father figure, much less a mother who is around often enough to truly listen. 

It is indeed a broken, splintered world we inhabit. 

For followers of Jesus, there is a long-term hope: Jesus, our brother in humanity [Bible, New Testament, Hebrews 2] and our intercessor in divinity [Bible, New Testament, Colossians 1:15-20], connects us to the family of God. This does not right every wrong at this very moment, but it reveals the coming world of God. In God’s kingdom, divisions between people will cease, even between parents and children. Justice will be established for all-yes, for families too. Paul, an important leader in the early church, draws this God-as-a-parent concept out in Romans 8:12-17. God reveals that we are adopted as children. Eventually we become heirs, with our brother/savior, Jesus, of all the good that God has stored up for those who follow him.

New Life

However you understand the concept of family and the parental relationship, know today that God is your parent. Know too that God never intended families to be divided. Our relationship issues have their source in our own human failures-our sin as it is described in the Bible. The good news is that the wrongs are eventually made right. The last book in the Bible, Revelation, tells us how God, through Jesus, is making all things new [Revelation 21:5].  

It is a new year, and with it can come a fresh turn of events and a change in our inner emotions. Could this be the year we allow God in to begin healing our most painful relationships?

Whatever good or bad came through your relationship with your human parents, we can all look to God as our ultimate parent. If you were fortunate enough to have good parents, be thankful for them. If you did or do not, again, I lament with you. But together, we look forward to the coming day when God makes all things new and good and right-including family relationships. 

Parents and Children: Part 1.

Ask a toddler what they appreciate about their mommy or daddy, then an 8 year old, then a teenager. You will receive very different answer.

During my middle and late teen years, I had come to the conclusion that my parents were my adversaries. By asking me to be home by midnight and prepare for college, I thought they were trying to ruin my life. When they confronted me for hanging out with questionable friends, I feared they wanted to wreck my social life.

To me, eternity hung in the balance during those heated conversations about whether or not I was grounded for disrespecting my mom. What if I missed out on something with my friends? After all, my life could fall apart if I had to hang out with my family on a Friday.

Toward the end of my junior year of high school, I became interested in planning for college. Getting away from my little West Michigan hometown could be the cure to all my ailments. Plus, I was interested in learning. It was the best possible step for me to take; finally, I could escape my small-minded parents!

As I set out for college, I packed up my things. When I took the time to reflect, each contained memories. My desktop computer originally belonged to my older brother, and my mom had purchased me a new flatscreen monitor at Staples. My Redline BMX bike came from a garage sale where again my mother had taken mercy on my 13-year-old soul and paid the full $75 for it. My clothes came mostly from sales at the tiny JC Penney in Big Rapids, where my mom helped me find the stuff I needed to look presentable.

Arriving at Spring Arbor University, just a half hour south of Michigan’s capital, Lansing, my family helped me unload my memories into a tiny fourth-floor dorm room. After everything was [sort of] in its place, we gathered with many other families on the commons lawn and listened to what were likely meaningful words. I was not listening, really. I was making plans for my new life at college.

Soon, we were engaging in a ceremony. All the families formed a giant circle on the commons lawn, and the Spring Arbor professors and student leaders stretched out a long blue ribbon around the group. We all held on to a little piece of it. It was supposed to represent the connections had fostered between each of us new students and our families. After a small speech and a prayer, they cut the ribbon into a thousand small pieces. One by one, we were cut away from our families. Tears flowed. I was more excited than sad, but my then girlfriend, who was going to a different college, felt differently. So did my parents and brothers.

Each of us, with our piece of ribbon, parted ways with our respective families. A few quick hugs and whispered words, and they headed to their cars and drove away. We stayed there, making our way to the small groups of other freshman students they had established for us.

My college years had begun.

Long after the high school angst, some of my feelings of resentment toward my parents sat hidden within me. I enjoyed my new freedom at Spring Arbor, a place I was freed to be myself and establish my own new routines. After most of my first semester was over, my parents picked me up at Thanksgiving and we drove the three hours back up to Big Rapids. As we skittered across 196 heading West on snowy roads, my mind wandered back to my years growing up with them, then back forward to my new life as an independent college student. That got me to thinking: was I really independent? I got some scholarships, sure, but my parents still footed a pretty big chunk of each tuition bill. Those thoughts tortured me for much of Thanksgiving break.

Soon, I was driving back to Spring Arbor, safe behind the air-bagged wheel of my 1997 Jetta. I had found the car on eBay, and though my dad advised a Saturn, I wanted the VW. Cashier’s check in hand, he took a train to Philadelphia, PA to buy the car sight unseen, then drove it 16 hours back to Big Rapids. Did I mention he bought it for me?

As I drove, I carried new memories with me. Over break, I discovered that my parents are actually on my side. God, in his grace, helped me see them in a new way. Instead of adversaries, they were my biggest advocates. Instead of enemies, they were both cheerleaders and coaches. God appointed them to my personal board of directors. They saw me for who I really am, and understood my weaknesses. They also knew where I excel. And they were willing to tell me the difference between these two.

My life changed when I recognized that, miraculously, my parents had transformed into amazing people. Of course, the transformation was something God did in my perception. They loved me all along; I just needed to see it.

A Soon-to-be-New-Parent’s Prayer

Claudio Coello: Holy Family

Lord God, you revealed yourself as a child. As Mary wondered how God could use her in his mission in the world, so do we wonder how it is that you involve us in your mission. As Joseph’s plans were interrupted with an unexpected pregnancy, so will our own ambitions evolve and shift with the presence of a new life, a tiny life dependent entirely on my wife and me. As our child depends on us for life and sustenance, teach us to recognize more deeply how our sustenance is entirely dependent on you. As our child learns and grows and matures, grow us and teach us and bring us to greater spiritual maturity. Merciful God, just as the news of Jesus’s birth came to humble shepherds, so does the news of your kingdom continue to invite us–the marginalized, the weak–to behold the depth of your love and us. Humble us and shepherd us, that we might recognize how, in your kingdom, you use the weak to lead the strong. Give us grace to lead our child in your way, and in turn be led, through our child, to you.

5 Things I Pray for as a Soon-to-be-Dad.

rabbit family

 

My wife, Kaile [pronounced Kay-lah for those of you who do not know her], is in week 30 of our first pregnancy. Related to this, there are lots of new concepts and concerns that nothing but writing seems to remedy.

As you read this, you are likely judging me. It is ok! I expect that. I am not naïve enough to think all of these are going to work out just like I hope they will work out. But I do pray for these things. I do desire some iteration of each of these to be made real in my life.

Here they are:

5. Fun Times with Baby

Come on. Who doesn’t love babies? I look forward to having a little person to laugh with [eventually] or even at [more likely]. While our newborn baby thinks to him/herself “my caretakers are supremely ridiculous,” I will be having a great time making faces and cooing as our little one does the baby version of rolling one’s eyes, knowing how utterly silly we both are.

Hopefully all of us will be better off for it.

4. Stronger Connections with other Parents

As recent as this month, people have still mistaken me for a college, or even high school student. At 27, this has gotten old. Maybe it’s the hair. I should begin to comb it sometime. Point sustained. The reality is, I am married. We own a house and a couple cars. We travel. We chose, together, not to have a dog [aha! maybe that’s why it’s hard to imagine me as an adult?].

I look forward to having that connection with others who are currently raising or have already raised children. To experience a significant change in the life journey is to enter into the process of sense-making with others. We will soon be able to compare the narrative of family life with others who are doing the same thing. Eventually, Kaile and I will be able to say, “yeah, that’s great insight on how you disciplined your child,” even if that technique didn’t work for ours. We’ll be able to say to others, “yeah, little [insert name] did okay with potty-training, but junior high was pretty rough.” You get the gist; we will be able to relate in new ways with billions of people.

Oh-it will also be nice to get a little bit more respect about my age.

3. A New Process for Spiritual Formation

For 25 of these 27 years, I have done spiritual formation as a single person. My journey as one of Jesus’s millions of disciples had been done in a certain single kind of way. That changed once when I got married, and will soon change yet again. Soon, I will need to recognize new ways of understanding the journey. This will likely consist of whispering prayers over our child as she/he sleeps. It will involve learning how to apologize to a 7-year-old. It will involve answering questions not as an absolute authority, but as someone who has experienced the hope of God.

It will also surely involve attempting to spiritualize diaper changes.

2. Stronger Bonds in My Marriage

Kaile and I know a new child will bring stress into our marriage. This, I think, is entirely unavoidable. However [go ahead-judge me!], there is also an opportunity to grow. Even writing the previous sentence fills me with wonder. How will Kaile and I learn to depend on one another? How will the challenge of rearing a child bring us toward a greater sense of purpose? How will we come to understand, in a new way, how God blesses the poor in spirit [Matthew 5:3]?

I imagine sitting next to Kaile on a park bench or, heaven forbid, airplane, trying to hush our screaming child. How can we weather that experience and learn to trust one another and receive one another’s input?

For the record, I do not know the answers to these questions. But I think they’re worth asking.

1. A Deeper Knowledge of God’s Love

I still remember a pastor in Chicago sharing a story about his three-day-old son. He reflected on how little the infant had done: “…my son hasn’t done anything! But that’s not why I love him! I love him because he exists!” He went on to make a joke about his son’s breastfeeding tendencies and how that was affecting his [cough cough] intimacy, a joke that he immediately regretted. Needless to say, it was a stressful week for him.

The point about his son stuck with me, though. God does not love us because we enter into the world and cause all kinds of transformation. Most of us are not bubbling fountains of kindness, and we wouldn’t hold a candle to the saints of old. But God didn’t love Mother Teresa or John Wesley or the new pope because of their good deeds. He created us out of love, and he keeps loving us because… well… he just does. He’s God.

I don’t know how my parenting abilities will play out when the rubber meets the road. But I do know that I’m committed. If our child grows up and becomes a promiscuous drug addict, I have to hope that God teaches Kaile and me more about his love, his unconditional, “it’s because I’m God” kind of love. Because we exist, he loves us. He’s God, and he just does that.

To hold a child-our own child-could drive this point home.

Hospitality: A Lesson in Christian Practice.

Night in Chicago

The above picture invites consideration of human relationships. We, the builders of massive cities, complicated technologies, and intricate transportation infrastructure, are still trying to understand our own interpersonal workings. We still struggle with our sometimes unquenchable pursuit of power. Whether we communicate with an iPhone 6 or through the mail, we still seek relational fulfillment and meaning. We desire to make some small difference in the world, no matter how many billions of people live in it.

Almost 20 years ago my dear friend’s family made the decision to leave a very oppressive, controlling community in the American northeast. Improperly calling themselves Christians, they functioned hierarchically under a dictatorial leader, building furniture and other wood products for income. As massive financial profits for the community leader became increasingly evident [he traveled in a Learjet], the desperate need to start afresh galvanized in the family. Because of the abuses of power, they felt forced to leave. In leaving, they left a toxic system, but carried with them a massive frustration with what they had understood to be Christianity. They also leaned into a life of scarcity, for their skills in woodworking did little for them outside the tiny community from which they had come.

After a move to a Midwest city, they struggled to find meaningful employment. Amidst the chaos, a small community church reached out, offering meals, job opportunities, childcare for the four young ones, relational support, and spiritual encouragement. They offered simple, honest, timely hospitality. Because of how God had offered them his overwhelming hospitality, this church had become willing to step in and offer hospitality to a poor, displaced family. It was not from guilt, but from an overflow of love.

I believe it was Shane Claiborne who said that our American problem is “not that we don’t care for the poor, but that we don’t know the poor.” I added the emphasis at the end because that is exactly the problem. It is distraction too that keeps us from acts of hospitality. Possessions, projects, and concern that we are in the right school district also keeps us insulated from the poor. We know how Jesus sent away a young man in Mark 10:21-22 because he had “many possessions,” but somehow we imagine distance from this waffling young man and ourselves. Jesus’s command to leave his possessions behind was a tall order; it was too difficult for this man, to be sure. It seems the command is often too difficult for us as well.

If we take an introspective look in our own lives, it is impossible for many of us not to relate to this fellow. Getting personal here is necessary; excuse my boldness. But honestly, how many poor people do I know? How many do you know? This is a reality check, because we live in a culture that has segregated itself de facto based on income and political affiliation. I’ll leave it to you to read the studies, but most of American society is stratified across these lines. Consider who you live close to: how similar to you are they socioeconomically? Religiously? Ethnically? These factors keep us knowing the poor among us. We are often physically distant from the people who are in desperate need.

The goal here, as stated in the title, is finding ways to show Christian hospitality in a neighborhood. Often it is best to start simply. As a disclaimer, it is important for you to know that my wife and I am not very good at this. However, we are trying. It is also important for you to know that we happen to live in a lower income neighborhood [and we fit right in!]. Over the past year, Kaile and I have been getting to know our next-door neighbor, Rina. We have had lots of conversations, and she has been over for a meal. As our relationship has progressed, I have noticed that she is extremely busy with simply making ends meet. She has little time for taking care of her home. Recently, she received a notice from the City of Grand Rapids that she was required to paint her entire home within 3 weeks, lest fees accrue for “property mismanagement.” Lacking the time and money to hire painters, she has made efforts to complete the project. She will not make the deadline. I offered to get together a few people from my church during an evening chat outside her home. She accepted. Rina does not have a relationship with God. She is not living into her baptism, now many decades ago. I pray our church’s small act of service will plant another tiny seed within Rina, and that God would nurture that seed over the years to come.

Christian hospitality takes many forms. But I am not going to list the various forms it can take; that is something that you must discern within your own context. I desire to simply speak on the subject and to describe how God has worked in my life and in the lives of people around me. I really think the way of Jesus is a pathway to peace and forgiveness in neighborhoods, and that we who are called by Him are called to offer others the deep hospitality that God offers us.

Continuing the opening story will help connect some of the dots here. My friend is now in his mid-twenties. His parents divorced early in life, and both his parents and his siblings have rejected Christian faith in large part because of their negative formational experiences with a corrupt community masquerading as Christians. But my friend has given the church a chance. And amidst the church experiences, he has given Jesus a chance. During several years of living in a home that practiced prayer together, he was offered the hospitality of heart-friends who listened to him and invited him to participate in Christian hospitality. What was the catalyzing factor? It is not clear. Maybe it was meals together in the home with neighbors. Maybe it was afternoon conversations after work. Maybe it was the closeness that comes because of being around others who are practicing their faith actively, who are constantly searching for ways to offer the hospitality Jesus offers us. To be sure, the Holy Spirit is greatly at work when you, as John Wesley said, “do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” Maybe this is the best definition of hospitality.